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Not sure what the make-up of your church is; since I came from a CRC background, 40 yrs ago we were still in isolationist mode....however, the small groups that was started in a small evangelical church I attended after we moved to an area where there was no CRC. (I know, hard to believe, eh?) so the hesitancy was all mine, most likely from my upbringing.....but having married a dynamic non-Dutch CRC person, I was dragged "kicking & screaming" - sort of how God does it to us selfish sinners who love our sin like a pig in the mud -  and I am a better person because of it. As an aside, our church grew during those years from 125 members to over 800 members. I'm not saying that it was due to the small groups, but I'm sure it was an critical ingredient to it's success, in how we formulated our relationships amongst a core group of family ties.

Authentic Community is tough, because it takes time and that's the one commodity that we guard. That would be another lengthy conversation and I've been up since 1:30 am PEI time, so I'm signing out.....Ok, I admit it, I'm guarding my time ....LOL wishing you lots of luck with your small groups...jsut curious where the church is located?

Yes! Very, Very familiar with Jenison....In fact, I volunteered at Community CRC before coming to Calvin in the late 70's. The pastor there, PAstor Dave Struyk was my roomate at Calvin and we still keep in touch. The small groups definitely works better in a suburb to rural area where there is an extreme amount of disconnect throughout the congregation due to distances. 

And now that I'm rested, the authentic community thing is something I don't have to tell you, but it's because 2 things primarily. 1) Due to our fallen nature we daily regress toward our selfishness and wanting to be our own God, meaning we become independent and don't need other and 2) because society as a whole is marketing in a way that continues to drive us to be impersonal beings in relation to others (eg social media, online education, computer marketing) Anything and everything that entices us to not speak, see or relate to other people.

However, the biggest way to combat that (and don't set your goals to high, because it is a slow uphill process) is realizing, accepting and understanding it is happening and consciously and intentionally planning ways that bring people together. OK, there's something to chew on for a while....PS I'm in PEI, Canada....presently at a CRC.

Gin: I know that it's been awhile since you posted this "cry for help", but I felt compelled to respond to it. After almost 30 years of youth ministry experience, changing cultures and changing churches, the one thing that is constant is that nothing stays constant :>).....I hope that you are not still dealing with the discouragement that you were experiencing in August but if you are here are a few suggestions. First, don't take it personally. It's more than likely not you or your techniques, but youth a that age are changing. Their bodies are changing, their emotions are changing, and their status in life is changing. With all this change comes testing traditional foundational truths in their lives. What does that mean practically?

Sometimes, all it takes is 1 or 2 in the group to ruin the evening, sometimes more.

(1) Try not to take things as a personal assault. Rather than seeing it as a defeat, see it as a challenge to overcome it. That means mixing things up until you find just the right mix that works. For some it's not a person speaking but carefully selected videos. For my group it's breaking into small groups in the middle of the devotion to discuss issues in smaller groups and they don't get antsy by moving them around and not sitting listening to a "blah, blah, blah" speech for an hour. We don't do devotions every week, that way they area looking forward to it when the week for devotions rolls around. Also, one week a month we have someone from the church or a Christian School/University come in and give a Testimony. This is actually the highlight of the youths month in yth grp.

(2) A huge part is having good leaders alongside and helping you out. I know you said that yth leaders were scarce in your church.ASk Council and parents for ideas in this area; maybe you'll find a person you wasn't even thinking about. Give assigned duties. If you're forte is devotions, then you do that every time. If you have a leader that is good and inspirational at choosing games; have them do that. Another person may like to choose and set-up snacks.....let them do it. If you delegate good - having people do what they are good at and enjoy - your yth grp will be good.

(3) Communication is also a Biggy.....Communicating with both the parents and the students. That may mean emailing parents but face booking youth; have a bi-yearly calendar by planning an entire half year at a time; see what activities work and what doesn't and you'll know what to eliminate for the next year. BUt remember the Yth Ldr Mantra, the only thing that is constant is that nothing is constant. Try some of those things that didn't work a few years later and they may work with a different set of bodies.

(4) Finally, we end EVERY yth grp evening with 10-15 minutes of circle prayer. Give the a topic to pra about: things to be thankful, the person to their left, family, school and watch how the spirit will move them. It may be awkward at first but by the end of the year, I promise you will have a majority of yth praying confidently in public.

So, that just a few ideas; sorry I didn't see this sooner; if you have any other questions or would like to contact me directly my email is [email protected]....Always Serving Him, Albert!

Posted in: #Social Media

Posted in: Transitions

Lesli: GREAT Topic to post about.....some churches - those that tend to be smaller - transitioning is not as big an issue, I believe. And, yes, although "connecting to Jesus" is the underlying focus, there are other goals, as well; good transitioning is just a tool to not leave behind those who who have difficulty stepping out of their comfort zone.....What WE do in our church is after cadets/GEMs there is a group - TEEN Club - that meets for one year. Throughout that year and specifically during the Summer prior to Yth Grp entrance, we invite the TEEN Club yth to attend some of the yth group activities, so that they become more familar with the others in the group and more comfortable with taking that - for some - scary first step into Youth Group the following year. Many churches don't have the manpower for a Teen Club but it's just knowing which students will be moving up to YG and then intentionally inviting them to some events....maybe even bring a friend! Also, because our Teen Club is made up of community (non-CRC but attended cadets/GEMs) youth, we have a mixture/percentage of students in YG that don't necessarily attend our church. Great Outreach tool, as well.

Thanks Roger for the added insight. I presume that many more have the same feelings, but just do not know how to express it, or what to do about it. Many churches are waiting for someone to tell them how to get out of the Sheltered Lifestyle. Sometimes, our lives are so busy with meaningless things that we forget/fail to concentrate on what is important. Finding ways to reach out to the hurting is one of those responsibilities that we MUST solve if we want to evangelize, be authentic & transparent and escape our sheltered bubble.

Posted in: Judgemental

Roger: Although the Kennedy Explosion Evangelism program is a great resource, it is outdated and only now useful to point us in a direction of solving the dilemma of pointing others towards God in the light of love. Sure we make decisions about others, based on good and bad of others, but "we" should not make that exclusion of where their lives are with the Lord. The built-in DNA as you so eloquently put it has replaced the embracing of love of ANY child of God. Our job  is not to judge and because we have taken on that role, it has changed our DNA. Sin is sin, and must not be ignored - nor downplayed -, as we agree, but embracing others into the fold with love, and nurturing their understanding of the role they play first, is paramount to then making them aware of their sin. Here is how I see it: We have not put enough emphasis on LOVING invitation and We have not put enough emphasis on building RELATIONSHIPS with those new believers of the faith - rather we think they are hooked and let them flounder by their own demise. Being courageous to step out of our comfort zones to actually do something helpful and loving. Doing  better job in just these three areas alone would have a huge impact  on the dynamics of how we arae perceived. How would this happen practically? For each church and individual, this is different; but if the denomination tackled this on a denominational-wide scope, I believe we would begin to see that cloak of judgmentalism begin to evaporate in real ways.

Thanks for all your imput.....

Posted in: Judgemental

John: I like very much in theory what you propose....so, when will you be creating this  Overture for Synod? :>)....A slight shift away from doctrinism to relational thinking. "to be less judgemental, while still demonstrating the value of increased commitment." Sure, a lot of details would need to be thought, talked and worked through, but I can see how this could move definitely in the direction of highlighting the joyfulness of Christianity. Once a commitment is made and the value of what Christ has done embraces the individual, then they would be more likely to understand and see value in the life-choice that they were drawn to, through the work of the holy Spirit; spurring on the desire to mke an investment with their lives that would eventually lead to sacrifice. What a great start and dream!!!

Posted in: Judgemental

Roger...no insult taken, and for a good portion of Canada, your generalities are correct. My situation, however, is unique since I grew up and spent 45 years in the CRC just outside New York City, with a tremendous amount of multicultural integration within church environments, and was transplanted to Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, which is practically the Mecca of multi-cultural integration in all of Canada. So our church sees a huge amount of multicultural visitors (Africa, India, Korea, Japanese & Chinese - amongst the most); that, and we are situated right next door to the only University on the Island. :>).....so that leap of change is not quite as impossible as what you may think for us.....but it still has some of the struggles that you mention....

Posted in: Hypocrisy

Roger: Thanks for the comments.....Those words resonate strongly and may even be a part of the answer. Where we tend to begin with Sin - and many times unconsciously over-emphasize it's reality, we need to do a better job of counter-balancing the Grace in our lives. Beginning with grace and joy, and carefully adding spoonfuls of what sin looks like in the life of a CHristian; mixing in sin awareness with sanctification? 

Posted in: Hypocrisy

Bev: It certainly can be another area of weakness in our churches in advertising supposed-hypocrisy. Some churches are better at handling this weakness....the majority, probably not. Partly this goes back to our inherent flaw  of original sin and we are - like Adam & Eve - inclined to be secretive with our disobedience to God. However, do not discredit what our responsibility is towards society in standing against evil; standing up for Truth, Justice and honor. The problem is we mix up our roles. The churches role is not that of acuser and punisher.....that is the governments role. The church is is to hold up the ideals and remind people of what Truth is. And, the way we go about that is the key to turning this perception around.

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