Albert Huizing, IV

Not sure what the make-up of your church is; since I came from a CRC background, 40 yrs ago we were still in isolationist mode....however, the small groups that was started in a small evangelical church I attended after we moved to an area where there was no CRC. (I know, hard to believe, eh?) so the hesitancy was all mine, most likely from my upbringing.....but having married a dynamic non-Dutch CRC person, I was dragged "kicking & screaming" - sort of how God does it to us selfish sinners who love our sin like a pig in the mud -  and I am a better person because of it. As an aside, our church grew during those years from 125 members to over 800 members. I'm not saying that it was due to the small groups, but I'm sure it was an critical ingredient to it's success, in how we formulated our relationships amongst a core group of family ties.

Authentic Community is tough, because it takes time and that's the one commodity that we guard. That would be another lengthy conversation and I've been up since 1:30 am PEI time, so I'm signing out.....Ok, I admit it, I'm guarding my time ....LOL wishing you lots of luck with your small groups...jsut curious where the church is located?

Gin: I know that it's been awhile since you posted this "cry for help", but I felt compelled to respond to it. After almost 30 years of youth ministry experience, changing cultures and changing churches, the one thing that is constant is that nothing stays constant :>).....I hope that you are not still dealing with the discouragement that you were experiencing in August but if you are here are a few suggestions. First, don't take it personally. It's more than likely not you or your techniques, but youth a that age are changing. Their bodies are changing, their emotions are changing, and their status in life is changing. With all this change comes testing traditional foundational truths in their lives. What does that mean practically?

Sometimes, all it takes is 1 or 2 in the group to ruin the evening, sometimes more.

(1) Try not to take things as a personal assault. Rather than seeing it as a defeat, see it as a challenge to overcome it. That means mixing things up until you find just the right mix that works. For some it's not a person speaking but carefully selected videos. For my group it's breaking into small groups in the middle of the devotion to discuss issues in smaller groups and they don't get antsy by moving them around and not sitting listening to a "blah, blah, blah" speech for an hour. We don't do devotions every week, that way they area looking forward to it when the week for devotions rolls around. Also, one week a month we have someone from the church or a Christian School/University come in and give a Testimony. This is actually the highlight of the youths month in yth grp.

(2) A huge part is having good leaders alongside and helping you out. I know you said that yth leaders were scarce in your church.ASk Council and parents for ideas in this area; maybe you'll find a person you wasn't even thinking about. Give assigned duties. If you're forte is devotions, then you do that every time. If you have a leader that is good and inspirational at choosing games; have them do that. Another person may like to choose and set-up snacks.....let them do it. If you delegate good - having people do what they are good at and enjoy - your yth grp will be good.

(3) Communication is also a Biggy.....Communicating with both the parents and the students. That may mean emailing parents but face booking youth; have a bi-yearly calendar by planning an entire half year at a time; see what activities work and what doesn't and you'll know what to eliminate for the next year. BUt remember the Yth Ldr Mantra, the only thing that is constant is that nothing is constant. Try some of those things that didn't work a few years later and they may work with a different set of bodies.

(4) Finally, we end EVERY yth grp evening with 10-15 minutes of circle prayer. Give the a topic to pra about: things to be thankful, the person to their left, family, school and watch how the spirit will move them. It may be awkward at first but by the end of the year, I promise you will have a majority of yth praying confidently in public.

So, that just a few ideas; sorry I didn't see this sooner; if you have any other questions or would like to contact me directly my email is [email protected]....Always Serving Him, Albert!

Great Kick-off, informative, conversation-starting article Annika!

Lesli: GREAT Topic to post about.....some churches - those that tend to be smaller - transitioning is not as big an issue, I believe. And, yes, although "connecting to Jesus" is the underlying focus, there are other goals, as well; good transitioning is just a tool to not leave behind those who who have difficulty stepping out of their comfort zone.....What WE do in our church is after cadets/GEMs there is a group - TEEN Club - that meets for one year. Throughout that year and specifically during the Summer prior to Yth Grp entrance, we invite the TEEN Club yth to attend some of the yth group activities, so that they become more familar with the others in the group and more comfortable with taking that - for some - scary first step into Youth Group the following year. Many churches don't have the manpower for a Teen Club but it's just knowing which students will be moving up to YG and then intentionally inviting them to some events....maybe even bring a friend! Also, because our Teen Club is made up of community (non-CRC but attended cadets/GEMs) youth, we have a mixture/percentage of students in YG that don't necessarily attend our church. Great Outreach tool, as well.

Roger: Although the Kennedy Explosion Evangelism program is a great resource, it is outdated and only now useful to point us in a direction of solving the dilemma of pointing others towards God in the light of love. Sure we make decisions about others, based on good and bad of others, but "we" should not make that exclusion of where their lives are with the Lord. The built-in DNA as you so eloquently put it has replaced the embracing of love of ANY child of God. Our job  is not to judge and because we have taken on that role, it has changed our DNA. Sin is sin, and must not be ignored - nor downplayed -, as we agree, but embracing others into the fold with love, and nurturing their understanding of the role they play first, is paramount to then making them aware of their sin. Here is how I see it: We have not put enough emphasis on LOVING invitation and We have not put enough emphasis on building RELATIONSHIPS with those new believers of the faith - rather we think they are hooked and let them flounder by their own demise. Being courageous to step out of our comfort zones to actually do something helpful and loving. Doing  better job in just these three areas alone would have a huge impact  on the dynamics of how we arae perceived. How would this happen practically? For each church and individual, this is different; but if the denomination tackled this on a denominational-wide scope, I believe we would begin to see that cloak of judgmentalism begin to evaporate in real ways.

Thanks for all your imput.....