You're right Bill. That's what I meant when I said that there are consequences for sin. Safe Church would recommend, for example, that one of the consequences of having a criminal sexual offense on your record is that as a result, you are unable to serve the congregation in a position of responsibility with children and youth. There are many other ways to serve that would be more appropriate. We need to be wise and also diligent in our responsibility to protect those who are most vulnerable among us. The Lord has entrusted them to our care. Safe Church Ministry has resources on our website that address returning citizens who have a criminal sexual history. They can be found here.
Many, many of our neighbors have suffered abuse. How wonderful it would be to welcome neighbors into a congregation that could offer understanding, compassion, hope, and healing. We simply can't do that without first building awareness about the issue of abuse.
Thanks for this post! Testimonies bring praise to our Lord as people get to see a little piece of the work that He is always doing. Our church has a tradition of sharing testimonies during the Sunday School hour during the month of January. People are selected ahead of time so that they can prepare. It's amazing to hear about all the different ways that God is working. Added benefits include getting to know the people we worship with each week on a different and deeper level, gaining understanding about various issues that people face, or realizing that we are not alone in our struggles. May the Lord help all of us to be more open, ready and willing to share testimonies of how the Lord is real to us in our everyday lives, and may it bring him praise.
Thanks for the good words from Marie Fortune, who has worked extensively at the intersection of faith and abuse. Truth telling and acknowledging the wrong are difficult and absolutely necessary first steps. I wonder why that's so hard for us. As Christians, who stand by the grace of God forgiven and loved, it seems that we should be able to do this with one another. What is Christian community without that?
Great post! It made me think of Job, when his three friends first saw what had happened to him they, "began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." Later on in the book, when they tried all their words, things didn't go so well. There is much to be said for a "ministry of presence" without words.
Thanks for this blog that helps us think about the impact of finances in the broader issue of relationship abuse. It's certainly one important barrier to leaving the relationship. There are many other barriers as well: it can be very dangerous to leave, many of the deaths attributed to relationship abuse happen when the one being victimized tries to leave. Also, "hope springs eternal". There are many positive things about the relationship in spite of abuse. There are the memories of a more loving time, the hope that the apologies and the promises that it will never happen again are true. And if children are involved that adds a whole new dynamic. It's not easy. It's good to think about the complexities of the issue, including the impact of finances. When we, as the church, truly understand the problem, we are better able to offer a helpful response. For another take on this theme see the following article from ReFrame Media: http://thinkchristian.reframemedia.com/scandal-whyistayed-and-standing-against-abuse?utm_campaign=TC_RSS_Campaign&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=em
When my husband and I did pre-marital counseling, 36 years ago, we had a session on in-laws (you marry a family not just one person), we also had a session on finances to discover our differences around that issue. We had 4 other sessions, 6 in all. Our pastor was proud of the fact that over 50% of the couples he counseled broke off their engagement (better before than after you're married). But that's not what Robin's article is about. One session that was not covered in our premarital counseling was relationship abuse, how to recognize the signs, how to get help, etc. I wonder how many CRC pastors discuss relationship abuse in their premarital counseling? I wonder how many youth groups talk about dating violence? That's one thing that churches could do to prevent relationship abuse, which is what this blog post is about.
From someone who likes to ask questions, and who tends to see lots of gray rather that black and white, I want to thank you for posting this. I especially love the last paragraph. Jesus has prayed that his followers live together in unity (see John 17). That does not mean that we will all think the same way, or come to the same conclusions. In this world of seemingly greater and greater polarization, and the disrespectful dialog that accompanies that, I believe that we, as the church, have a chance to shine in the darkness by the way we respect and honor one another, even those who think differently from ourselves. Asking questions is an important way to gain understanding; so glad to see it's being encouraged.
I am not a Greek scholar - but I once heard a pastor say that "Go and make disciples... would be better translated, "as you are going, make disciples ... " That makes sense to me, it's every Christian's calling.
Thank you Rachel for your wonderful work being the Network guide for Safe Church Ministry, especially for your very informative and helpful posts to this site. It's been a tremendous blessing to have you in that role, and you will be missed. I agree with your assessment that we can't prevent abuse if we can't talk openly about it. And that abuse prevention needs to be owned not only by a few people, but by entire congregations and by denominational leadership. I echo your hope that the Network will continue to be a place where people can find "helpful information and resources for support and guidance". THANK YOU RACHEL! Blessings to you.
One of the workshops at a Safe Church conference was entitled: Bullying, it's not just for children. That's so true, as this helpful article points out. Thanks. Church leaders, who by their position are granted tremendous power (more than most realize), must constantly resist the urge to misuse that power for their own ends. We must prayerfully uphold our church leaders in this regard. And all of us need the constant reminder to follow in the way of our Lord, who in humble submission did not demand his own way, but rather gave himself in love. May the Lord's Spirit guide us, revealing what is needed, aiding us to honor him, as we honor others.
Posted in: What’s in a Name?
You're right Bill. That's what I meant when I said that there are consequences for sin. Safe Church would recommend, for example, that one of the consequences of having a criminal sexual offense on your record is that as a result, you are unable to serve the congregation in a position of responsibility with children and youth. There are many other ways to serve that would be more appropriate. We need to be wise and also diligent in our responsibility to protect those who are most vulnerable among us. The Lord has entrusted them to our care. Safe Church Ministry has resources on our website that address returning citizens who have a criminal sexual history. They can be found here.
Posted in: Abuse Awareness: It’s Up to You
Many, many of our neighbors have suffered abuse. How wonderful it would be to welcome neighbors into a congregation that could offer understanding, compassion, hope, and healing. We simply can't do that without first building awareness about the issue of abuse.
Posted in: The Power of a Testimony
Thanks for this post! Testimonies bring praise to our Lord as people get to see a little piece of the work that He is always doing. Our church has a tradition of sharing testimonies during the Sunday School hour during the month of January. People are selected ahead of time so that they can prepare. It's amazing to hear about all the different ways that God is working. Added benefits include getting to know the people we worship with each week on a different and deeper level, gaining understanding about various issues that people face, or realizing that we are not alone in our struggles. May the Lord help all of us to be more open, ready and willing to share testimonies of how the Lord is real to us in our everyday lives, and may it bring him praise.
Posted in: Breaking the Silence: A Question of Culture
Thanks for the good words from Marie Fortune, who has worked extensively at the intersection of faith and abuse. Truth telling and acknowledging the wrong are difficult and absolutely necessary first steps. I wonder why that's so hard for us. As Christians, who stand by the grace of God forgiven and loved, it seems that we should be able to do this with one another. What is Christian community without that?
Posted in: When I Feel Beaten Down and Tired
Great post! It made me think of Job, when his three friends first saw what had happened to him they, "began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." Later on in the book, when they tried all their words, things didn't go so well. There is much to be said for a "ministry of presence" without words.
Posted in: Ties That Bind
Thanks for this blog that helps us think about the impact of finances in the broader issue of relationship abuse. It's certainly one important barrier to leaving the relationship. There are many other barriers as well: it can be very dangerous to leave, many of the deaths attributed to relationship abuse happen when the one being victimized tries to leave. Also, "hope springs eternal". There are many positive things about the relationship in spite of abuse. There are the memories of a more loving time, the hope that the apologies and the promises that it will never happen again are true. And if children are involved that adds a whole new dynamic. It's not easy. It's good to think about the complexities of the issue, including the impact of finances. When we, as the church, truly understand the problem, we are better able to offer a helpful response. For another take on this theme see the following article from ReFrame Media: http://thinkchristian.reframemedia.com/scandal-whyistayed-and-standing-against-abuse?utm_campaign=TC_RSS_Campaign&utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=em
Posted in: Ties That Bind
When my husband and I did pre-marital counseling, 36 years ago, we had a session on in-laws (you marry a family not just one person), we also had a session on finances to discover our differences around that issue. We had 4 other sessions, 6 in all. Our pastor was proud of the fact that over 50% of the couples he counseled broke off their engagement (better before than after you're married). But that's not what Robin's article is about. One session that was not covered in our premarital counseling was relationship abuse, how to recognize the signs, how to get help, etc. I wonder how many CRC pastors discuss relationship abuse in their premarital counseling? I wonder how many youth groups talk about dating violence? That's one thing that churches could do to prevent relationship abuse, which is what this blog post is about.
Posted in: What Do the CRC and the NFL Have in Common?
To learn more - sign up for the webinar TODAY! Domestic Violence and the Role of the Church. Go to http://www.crcna.org/webinars for more information.
Posted in: Questions - How Do We Respond to Them?
From someone who likes to ask questions, and who tends to see lots of gray rather that black and white, I want to thank you for posting this. I especially love the last paragraph. Jesus has prayed that his followers live together in unity (see John 17). That does not mean that we will all think the same way, or come to the same conclusions. In this world of seemingly greater and greater polarization, and the disrespectful dialog that accompanies that, I believe that we, as the church, have a chance to shine in the darkness by the way we respect and honor one another, even those who think differently from ourselves. Asking questions is an important way to gain understanding; so glad to see it's being encouraged.
Posted in: The Front Door Field
I am not a Greek scholar - but I once heard a pastor say that "Go and make disciples... would be better translated, "as you are going, make disciples ... " That makes sense to me, it's every Christian's calling.
Posted in: Sign On to Safe Church
Thank you Rachel for your wonderful work being the Network guide for Safe Church Ministry, especially for your very informative and helpful posts to this site. It's been a tremendous blessing to have you in that role, and you will be missed. I agree with your assessment that we can't prevent abuse if we can't talk openly about it. And that abuse prevention needs to be owned not only by a few people, but by entire congregations and by denominational leadership. I echo your hope that the Network will continue to be a place where people can find "helpful information and resources for support and guidance". THANK YOU RACHEL! Blessings to you.
Posted in: Church Bullies
One of the workshops at a Safe Church conference was entitled: Bullying, it's not just for children. That's so true, as this helpful article points out. Thanks. Church leaders, who by their position are granted tremendous power (more than most realize), must constantly resist the urge to misuse that power for their own ends. We must prayerfully uphold our church leaders in this regard. And all of us need the constant reminder to follow in the way of our Lord, who in humble submission did not demand his own way, but rather gave himself in love. May the Lord's Spirit guide us, revealing what is needed, aiding us to honor him, as we honor others.