Thrive (CRCNA)
Safe Church Ministry is now part of Thrive (learn more about this name change).
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Posted in: Responding to Abuse Toolkit: Grooming
Thank you for your comment Angela. The #MeToo movement has empowered women to share their stories. We expect to hear many of them within our church communities. Our prayer is that this resource will help people know how to better respond. Below are the very first steps in the "flow chart" which may be helpful. Pay attention to all the articles on The Network that begin with, "Responding to Abuse Toolkit" and you'll get a good preview of the new resource. Pray as we continue the work needed to finish it.
LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN!
Carefully and prayerfully listen to any disclosure or allegation of abuse. To be heard is one of the greatest needs of someone who has suffered abuse. So, by simply listening you are already helping immensely. Listening is far more valuable than you might imagine. Be empathetic, recognizing how difficult it is for someone to share his or her story. Try to remain calm and assuring using a matter-of-fact tone (even if what you hear seems shocking to you). Try to withhold judgment until you know more about the situation. There are probably many sides to this story, and many nuances, remember that you are only hearing one perspective at this point.
PAUSE and PRAY:
Take a deep breath; avoid a fast, easy or flippant answer; these situations can be very complicated. PRAY! God knows more than we do, and desires to give us his wisdom. Whether you pray aloud with the person disclosing an allegation of abuse, or pray quietly in your heart, consider God’s presence with you.
Posted in: To Solve a Safe Church Situation
Thank you Angela. Your prayers are greatly appreciated! Just to be clear, we don't believe that the number of situations has necessarily increased, rather more people are now coming forward, so that these situations are less hidden than in the past. That's really a good thing in many ways. As more people come forward, abuse may carry less stigma, and it will be easier for people to find the help that they need.
Posted in: Abuse Awareness, Prevention, and Response: How Will It Happen In Your Classis?
Safe Church Ministry is offering "seed money" in the form a grant to help classes establish a Safe Church Classis Coordinator as a paid position (an annual stipend) as part of their ongoing classis structure. (Safe Church grant funds will pay for the first year, up to $1,500 when the classis agrees to maintain the position at the same level following the first year). For more information, please contact Safe Church Ministry.
Posted in: Abuse Awareness, Prevention, and Response: How Will It Happen In Your Classis?
So, who's going to pay for this? Not your ministry shares (those funds are shrinking). It's on us, all of us, to make this work in every classis. Safe Church has set up a new designated Classis Coordinator fund; 100% of these funds will go directly to a classis. Read more about it in this article about how Safe Church is finding ways to do more ministry for less: To Solve a Safe Church Situation. It takes all of us working together to make our congregations safer for everyone.
Posted in: Domestic Abuse Awareness: Resources
Thank you for noticing our resources - glad that you found them helpful. And thank you for your work providing intervention and treatment services.
Posted in: Safe Church During COVID?
That's a great question, so glad that you are thinking about children and youth who are especially vulnerable during this time. The CRC has this site for covid-related resources. Safe Church has also posted articles with links to additional resources - This one with resources for social media policies; this one, are you and your church safe online; and this about a darker side of covid.And a new article will be coming to The Network soon on this very topic, as many churches are heading into a new fall season. Stay tuned, and keep asking these good questions.
Posted in: Elders Serving After Sin
This is not an easy question. There is not time or space here to address it fully. It must be noted that Church leaders represent our Lord, their position gives them an authority and power, which can be used for great good, and can also cause great harm when misused. Therefore, we must hold officebearers to a high standard. That said, Church Order provides guidelines for reinstatement in Supplement, Article 84. For a more complete discussion, please see the Report to Synod 2016 that reviewed these related Articles.
Posted in: Best Materials to Give Overview of Safe Church?
Thanks so much for asking this question Annie! (You are on my list of people to get back to, but as you know from previous experience, it sometimes requires patience for a response from Safe Church; we tend to keep pretty busy). Perhaps others have this same question, so this is a good place for me to respond to you, and perhaps assist others as well. So, again, thanks for asking!
Here are the items, with links, that we tend to recommend for those just getting started:
Our Safe Church brochure, which is available free of charge in three languages, Korean, Spanish and English. Note the vision for Safe Church and the five guiding goals for our ministry.
Another is Ten Ways to Make Your Church a Safer Place (very sorry, only in English at this point) This one is free up to the first 9 copies, and it gives churches ideas for what they could be doing to help prevent abuse and to respond to it in helpful ways.
We also have several half-page flyers or bulletin inserts, each featuring a different topic. So, if there is a certain topic that is of greater interest, or is a current focus, these make great hand-outs at a classis meeting. The one called, Is it Abuse? and The Healing Path feature some good general information about abuse and it's impacts. One on child abuse is also very helpful as often the first place churches begin with safe church is creating policies to protect children and youth (the most vulnerable among us) All of these, as well as others are available here free of charge (some have been translated into Spanish, very sorry, no Korean at this point - if you would like to help us with Korean translation, let us know - it's not just the words, it's the concepts and culture along with the power dynamic operating in abuse that must all be considered. It's not an easy translation.)
Finally, we have our new resource Responding to Abuse: A Toolkit for Churches, which works well online with live links to other information. It is also available in a hard copy booklet.
Just getting started? I'd stick with the brochure for your first classis meeting; there is enough there. And maybe pass around the Ten Ways Document (in a page protector), as something that each church could order for themselves. That seems to me a good place to start. And don't forget that you can contact us by phone or email at anytime for additional assistance, that's why we're here. We love these kinds of questions! (Much better than the questions we get after a situation of abuse.) So, please don't hesitate to contact us.
Posted in: Security Protocol for Disruptive People in Church Services
Hello Victoria,
We were able to find a new link for this resource. You can find it here! I hope this is helpful. We have also updated the previous comment.
Posted in: Becoming a Restorative Congregation Facilitator Training (March 24-25 in Burlington, ON)
Thank you for the feedback, Jan. This is really helpful. We'll keep this in mind the next time we offer a training like this. Blessings on your work as a restorative justice facilitator for young offenders. That is such important work.
Posted in: Why Accountability Is So Important in Our Churches
Hi Alex,
I am so sorry for all the pain and sadness your family has endured over the years. You share the stark reality of such a hard journey and highlighted how many people can be involved in one person's struggles. I cannot imagine the hard decisions you and your wife must have faced continually over the years as you supported Justin. It was heartbreaking to hear of the early trauma that he suffered that had such a lasting impact on his life. I think it is important to recognize how important our early years are to the formation of who we are. Clearly your family continued to support him so consistently, and yet it remains that he struggled significantly.
While you point out that there are simply no good answers for people such as Justin, what I hope people can glean from your story is the absolute necessity to build structures and policies within the church that work to create safety for everyone. What I take away from reading your story is the ongoing need for discernment around protecting others. In the original article the pastor made a decision that compromised the safety of others in his church. You note your awareness of Justin's tendencies and worked to help him and keep others safe. I am so sorry that your ongoing work with him did not result in a positive outcome that you hoped and prayed for.
I would encourage you to join us on our webinar on September 30th when we have Jay Stringer speaking to us. He focuses specifically on working with people with unwanted sexual behavior. I would hope that some of his words could be helpful for you, if only to validate the long journey you have been on.
thank you for sharing so deeply with us.
Posted in: Changes for Safe Church Ministry as Director Plans to Retire
The position for Safe Church director is posted - please encourage those you know who may be interested to apply!