What Is the Unofficial Dress Code at Your Church? Does it Matter?

OK, I struggle with this. I'm someone who does dress up a bit for church, and who mentally sighs at casual clothing. But then again, I'm old, so a lot of this is sort of a legacy standard on my side. That said, I think there are two doors to the topic.

First is what clothing means at a personal level. What we choose to wear conveys who we identify with, how we see ourselves, and even something about our status. From a missional stance, how folks wear clothes in a congregation will communicate directly whether one might belong or not; gaps open or close. And it's not just the fancy clothing -- the brands, the shoes, the haircuts can all speak of a social location. I don't know that there is any way around this, other than being mindful of what one chooses. If I know what I've chosen then i am able to engage the other, put them at ease, sense the cultural speed bumps etc. So mindfulness about clothing can make me mindful about outreach, too.

The second door is that of worship. What dress seems appropriate depends on what we understand to be happening in worship. How do I participate? How passive am I? How active? The more I understand myself as a participant then the more I want to be deliberate about the clothing choices. My clothing at the least should not distract others. At a personal level, I have found that I get less work done if I'm dressed casual; a certain professional attire helps me concentrate, and the same goes for church.

This is a great discussion. Up front I'll say that my church is mostly of the 'get dressed up for church' mindset. There is freedom however, to come in jeans or casually dressed which I occasionally do. There is so much more to it than that, though, and I'm appreciating this discussion. If we get dressed up to hide our vulnerability or to make ourselves feel good, then it's wrong. For several years my family sat in the balcony of the church we attended, and let me say that if (when) you are going through a season of suffering or struggle, watching everyone come into church all dressed up, smiles on their faces, and looking 'perfect' makes you feel like maybe you don't belong here. And in reality, that's exactly the opposite of what we want to say as Christians - that none of us have earned the right to be there - we are all broken and in need of grace, forgiveness, and healing. So I agree with several already in this discussion, and would say that heart attitude is far more important than outward appearance.

I remember a situation that happened with a person we'd been inviting to church for a long time but she had never accepted our invitation (she did not go to any church). One warm Sunday morning we'd extended another invitation because my daughter was doing a liturgical dance to The Lord's Prayer - and this person showed up in hot pants and high heels, probably what she thought was the nicest thing in her closet for a warm day. It was surprising on several levels, but we were so delighted to see her there, that we did everything we could to make her feel welcome. It was so much more than outward appearances that day. It was all about caring for her, asking God to touch her heart and soul in places that we couldn't reach, and trusting that the Holy Spirit would speak to her what she needed that day.

I wonder what kind of new 'clothes' we'll wear when we worship eternally in heaven? (fun to think about).

I personally grew up with getting "dressed up" when going to church...wearing our "Sunday best" as it were. I still try to do that for the most part...however, I would definitely not be concerned about what others are wearing or want them to feel unwelcome because of what they are wearing.

That being said, sometimes a congregation as a whole, when everyone seems to be dressed up, can cause newcomers to feel uncomfortable or even as "not acceptable" as a result.

I made a error in judgment a quite number of years ago, when I expressed my opinion about wearing sneakers rather than dress shoes to church, not thinking that there are people who simply cannot afford "Sunday Best" shoes and clothing. I have never forgotten that lesson, and will hopefully not make that mistake in other areas as well. Rather than judging and making assumptions based on outward appearance, but instead accepting and loving others as they are the way Jesus would have. 

 I think we're becoming a bit TOO casual.  There was a time--pobably when there were more members of the older generation from Holland in our congregation who have since moved either westward or heavenward in our midst--when people dressed up more to go to church.  I still do, but then I'm not the grunge type anyway.  But I see more and more blue jeans and I don't like it.  Can't people make the effort to at least wear a nice pair of pants to honor God?

I have wondered about this, too, and I am glad others have weighed in.

One time not too long ago, a younger family member (I am 61, she is in her 30's) remarked that she does not "dress up" the way that the women in our church do. I am not positive if she meant that as a reason she felt uncomfortable or not, but she does come to the church often, so I hope not.

My perception is that most of the women at the church -- and myself -- dress the same way for church as they do at work. I guess you might call it business casual but I actually wear jeans to work every day, and tennis shoes, although other women dress up more and some less. Same with church - I wear jeans and tennis shoes there, too, and some dress up more, some less. I kind of feel, at least here in California, that pretty much anything goes. I myself don't wear t-shirts to church (or work) so I guess there is that distinction.

The men at my church don't wear suits (ties and jackets) but once in a while someone will, or maybe put on a jacket or something (ties are pretty much only at funerals and weddings now). With men, too, it seems like they're pretty casual and as far as the "t-shirt distinction" I don't think they even have that -- very frequently they wear t-shirts.

As others have touched on, I wonder how much it matters what the minister wears. Do visitors/people take what he/she wears as a kind of metric for what is acceptable?