Kelly Sibthorpe

Doug,

Yes, you are semantically correct. Thank-you for bringing clarity. Authority to exercise power of course is granted by the people as we have just witnessed yesterday in the mid-terms. Correct, patriarchal authority structures is more proper, the point being, through empirical observation is that most church denominational structures are patriarchal as are the majority of business and institutional structures. Thankfully, women are gaining ground.

The key, in this church structure authority discussion is, who are the qualified givers and receivers of authority? Who are the stake-holders responsible to delegate or appoint authority? Does this authority to grant power reside equally with both genders? Traditionally, authority to grant power has been the domain of males. More recently, females have been "allowed" to hold church offices. In other words, there is wrestling going on. Who allows who to do what? Is this authority to exercise power based on gender, race, socioeconomic standing? Naturally we are to look to the scriptures for guidance and not tradition to put into place proper authority structures.

Hi All,

Thank-you Roger for confirming the fact that there is an element of "circling the wagons" in times of crisis including times of accusation of sexual abuse against an office bearer. Circle, protect, hope for the best when he's let go, minimize and ostracize the accuser as being a temptress or the one who incited an incident.

You ask in which circles I run, inferring that the Christian communities, the churches and campus ministry I've served over the years, do not carry levels of integrity commensurate with the standards of progressive sanctification that you claim differentiates our contexts? Roger, I work in the same circles. I'm a commissioned  CRC pastor at present serving in Campus Ministry. I run in the same circles...Thanks for asking. One of my goals in ministry is to fight for justice for victims and survivors of sexual abuse by office bearers. You have expressed the you do not like what I do and that's your prerogative. I ask you to adopt a more curious and realistic approach to understanding the intricacies of victimization, its consequences and the terrible damage wrought on those we swear to protect from harm as ministers of the Gospel. I understand why you want to deny the facts, we do not want to believe there is this type of evil among us. "Not in My Church", is the common refrain of those who do not want to believe the reality of clergy sexual abuse. I do not hate the abusers, they need pastoral care that allows them to grow in Christ and away from this sin against the innocent. This type of pastoral care is best exemplified in David's story of his betrayal with Bathsheba. When confronted by the prophet Nathan with the truth of sexual abuse and murder, David's heart broke, he repented  and wrote Psalm 51. The goal in safe church is not to hang out to dry the guilty, its to restore them to a place of shalom within the body of Christ through proper pastoral care. The focus however must be on the victim, their right to be heard, understood, providing hope for the possibility of justice or opportunities for restorative justice with the restoration in so far as possible, God helping them, Christian human dignity. 

Hi All,

Thank-you Roger for confirming the fact that there is an element of "circling the wagons" in times of crisis including times of accusation of sexual abuse against an office bearer. Circle, protect, hope for the best when he's let go, minimize and ostracize the accuser as being a temptress or the one who incited an incident.

You ask in which circles I run, inferring that the Christian communities, the churches and campus ministry I've served over the years, do not carry levels of integrity commensurate with the standards of progressive sanctification that you claim differentiates our contexts? Roger, I work in the same circles. I'm a commissioned  CRC pastor at present serving in Campus Ministry. I run in the same circles...Thanks for asking. One of my goals in ministry is to fight for justice for victims and survivors of sexual abuse by office bearers. You have expressed you do not like what I do and that's your prerogative. I ask you to adopt a more curious and realistic approach to understanding the intricacies of victimization, its consequences and the terrible damage wrought on those we swear to protect from harm as ministers of the Gospel. I understand why you want to deny the facts, we do not want to believe there is this type of evil among us. "Not in My Church", is the common refrain of those who do not want to believe the reality of clergy sexual abuse. I do not hate the abusers, they need pastoral care that allows them to grow in Christ and away from this sin against the innocent. This type of pastoral care is best exemplified in David's story of his betrayal with Bathsheba. When confronted by the prophet Nathan with the truth of sexual abuse and murder, David's heart broke, he repented  and wrote Psalm 51. The goal in safe church is not to hang out to dry the guilty, its to restore them to a place of shalom within the body of Christ through proper pastoral care. The focus however must be on the victim, their right to be heard, understood, providing hope for the possibility of justice or opportunities for restorative justice in so far as possible, God helping them, with the goal of restoring some level of the victims' Christian dignity. 

Roger,

The CRC is in the very early stages of educating it's membership on our dedicated, organizational power structures i.e., (Classes, Counsels, Pastors, Elders and Deacons) regarding the various abuses of power that exist in our denomination. The 180,000 (plus or minus)  people who willingly subject themselves to the CRC's power structures (office bearers), do so trusting that they will be a part of a safe, and relationally accountable body.

Up until recently, there was minimal or no understanding of the power differential between the appointed powers managing the activities of the membership. The power structures themselves usually have an inherent desire to protect their upper-echelon membership and holy reputation from blame for a number of factors, not the least of which is avoiding a "disastrous" fall from grace or a "de-frocking".

The normal course of action for an office bearer crossing the boundaries into sexual harassment or abuse were labeled as those guilty of having had an "affair" with a parishioner. "Affair" was the language used in Church Article 83 prior to Synods' amendments to the same in 2016, to describe sexual misconduct. Shameful, possibly worthy of some discipline yes! However, it was just an affair, It takes two to tango you know! A short suspension will suffice and possibly after a year or two, this pastor may seek a new call. This is how the "Old Boys Club" played out back in the day. The perpetrators of office-bearer sexual harassment and abuse were simply supported back to a place of leadership following minor discipline, only to repeat the same ingrained patterns of behavior in new contexts of power.

Thankfully, those days are over and we are collectively trying to make the church a safer place for all. We must continue on the path towards relational integrity and the proper use of power that the Synodical amendments clearly dictate. Our denomination will be fully ridiculed for having not properly reformed to place of promoting, through education, relational respect and equality with a clear understanding of the proper use of delegated power in power-differentiated relationships. Until we get to that place as a body of Christ, victims will continue to take the blame, lose their faith in God and the church and become suicidal substance abusers. Do we love all of our people or not? Do we love them enough to not ever sexualize relationships of fiduciary trust, knowing that if we do, our actions have the potential to destroy that person? 

Any church denomination is fertile ground for abusers of the power they receive at ordination. The research by the Baylor School of Sociology cites the average rate of abuse is all church denominations is approximately two percent, meaning that two office bearers out of 100 are actively engaged in emotional and sexually abusive behavior. If you do the math, we have 1200 churches with an average of 6-10 office bearers per church being about 85% male. At any given time, statistically, our denomination hosts approximately 190 practitioners of sexual abuse or harassment. Here's the math: 1200 churches X 8 office bearers/church= 9600 people (more or less) in positions of power. 9600 X .02 (2%) =190  sexual abusers of power. There are, at any given time, a minimum of 24 ordained Ministers of the Word who are guilty of clergy sexual abuse, representing 100's of victims. De we need education and increased awareness of this phenomenon? I think so. Our children and grandchildren need this level of diligence for their protection.

Thank-you Safe Church for trying to educate, against a strong tide of remaining, yet thankfully diminishing misunderstanding surrounding this horrific practice found among us.

Dear Roger,

Thanks for re-stating the fact that these were gifted men, I agree. Do you agree that 2% of these "gifted" men were actively abusing their office? I am not sure what you mean by "educate away".  Please clarify.

You're exactly right, in 1995 there was no safe church ministry...so the 2% of abusers got away with a lot as I outlined. Please elaborate if you're able, on what role safe church does play, so we have a common understanding of its mission in 2018. I would like to hear your thoughts! In your opinion what does a "safe" church look and feel like for women? 

-peace,

Kelly

Hi Everyone,The statistics I cited come from Baylor University are accurate for all North American Denominations (+ or - 3%). Baylor is a highly respected institution that produces state of the art research in religious sociology. Baylor's research into clergy sexual abuse and statistics describing the degree of the  problem have been used to assist law enforcement agencies and judiciaries in several states change their laws to criminalize acts that clergy do that sexualize relationships meant to be professional. 

Roger, your opinions are simply not valid. The reason most women report acts of abuse is because they fear retribution or recrimination. Only 1in 7 incidents are ever reported or if someone wants to come forward they are told by an elder to "let it go, you will harm his reputation". The victims are ignored and the powerful are protected. I will never forget, after speaking on the floor of our Classis during the  overture debate process to revise church article 83,  what happened to me in the washroom at break. I was speaking quite strongly in defense of victims saying, "how long will so many of our people continue to sit in silent suffering while we allow perpetrators of sexual abuse to go with a slap on the wrist. It has to stop!" Our session ended with a break and I went to the washroom. There were two older men in the washroom. They both, one at a time, told me of their daughter's and a grand-daughter' sexual abuse at the hands of an elder and pastor. The daughter is now a depressive alcoholic. The other victims has depressive disorder complicated by substance abuse. These men came to me on behalf of the silenced who have no voice. Roger, your lack of empathy for the writer of the story of which these comments are a follow-up reveal that you do not understand the issue. You opinion is irrelevant because it is not true. The case was obviously mishandled, justice was not done. There are no teeth in church courts...A guilty man is saved, the victim is squashed. 

I'm happy to report that all the men under the leadership of my wife (Ordained Minister of the Word and Sacrament) feel safe, as she adheres to her marriage vows and would never consider abusing a man under her pastoral care. She is one of the 98/100 pastors who are Not abusers.

God preserve and protect those who are under the power of the 2% of leadership in the CRC and all denominations who abuse their power. Thank-you Lord for the 98% of our leaders who adhere to their ordination vows and who do not break them. We love them so... Help us to identify and root out those among us who need to be deposed for their abusive behavior. Preserve the lives of victims, heal them from depression, suicidal ideation and fear. Many have left both the faith and church.  Restore them once again to your community. Strengthen them Lord and help them to be courageous survivors, fearlessly telling their stories.  Provide all the support and pastoral care they need. Amen.

Bev,

Correct, the actual statistics are higher. The 2% a"across the board in  all professional spheres represent the percentage of cases where actual  conviction with disciplinary action was carried out.

Wes's stroy is heartbreaking. The church is too safe for perpetrators and unsafe for many vulnerable people. The importance of Safe Church in turning this evil around is vital to the health of the church. Safe Church practice must be practiced in every CRC, sadly as Synod laments, only half of Classes and churches  support safe church practices. Why the resistance,? The typical answer being, "Not in my Church, it doesn't happen here". 

Roger,

The + or - 3% is the statistical variation of 100 individuals in a sample.

I am a man Roger and my wife is my pastor at Good News CRC in London Ontario. She has been ordained  as a Minister of Word and Sacrament for 11 years.

And again, church article 83 disqualifies your "opinion". Please take the time to read it. Synod has ruled against your opinion on this matter.

Kelly

 "Until all CRC's", Synod lamented, "adopt safe church policies", vulnerable people could be subject to abuse of power. Synod is aware. Are you?  Where is the Holy Spirit in this? The Spirit leads toward seeking justice for the weak, just as Jesus modeled for us in the call to be his image bearers.