The concept of equal partnership as a part of an egalitarian world-view challenges both genders to modify long held patriarchal power structures within our ecclesiastical fold. Male offices bearers under this view are required to "pull-back" or limit their grip on traditional male-held hierarchies within church polity structures. Women also have a role in seeking office and stating their case for egalitarian practices to take root within congregations. Both genders are required to be supportive of the other as they both seek God's will in serving through holding office-bearing roles up to and including Minister of Word and Sacrament.
As the husband of an ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament with 15 years experience in this role, it has been my delight to support and uphold the office my wife maintains as a lead pastor in a CRC congregation. My wife is an effective pastor as evidenced by all who have benefited from her leadership and preaching. God is honored and his people grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord as we all seek to minimize the prejudicial assumptions limiting the effectives of those who happen to be born to minorities or subject to ecclesiastically inspired gender prejudice.
Yes, you are semantically correct. Thank-you for bringing clarity. Authority to exercise power of course is granted by the people as we have just witnessed yesterday in the mid-terms. Correct, patriarchal authority structures is more proper, the point being, through empirical observation is that most church denominational structures are patriarchal as are the majority of business and institutional structures. Thankfully, women are gaining ground.
The key, in this church structure authority discussion is, who are the qualified givers and receivers of authority? Who are the stake-holders responsible to delegate or appoint authority? Does this authority to grant power reside equally with both genders? Traditionally, authority to grant power has been the domain of males. More recently, females have been "allowed" to hold church offices. In other words, there is wrestling going on. Who allows who to do what? Is this authority to exercise power based on gender, race, socioeconomic standing? Naturally we are to look to the scriptures for guidance and not tradition to put into place proper authority structures.
The + or - 3% is the statistical variation of 100 individuals in a sample.
I am a man Roger and my wife is my pastor at Good News CRC in London Ontario. She has been ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament for 11 years. Please look at the avatar on my post. That's me with the beard, my daughter and grand-daughter.
And again, church article 83 disqualifies your "opinion". Please take the time to read it. Synod has ruled against your opinion on this matter.
Thank-you for the link to the "Pyramid of Abuse". It is a fine summary of organizational systems theory, surrounding the foundations of abuse of power in its forms. Church systems have similar organizational structures, varying of course by denomination and therefore open to the development of abusive practices. I'm sorry you have to know many of the stories. Its hard to ingest and remain unchanged. I do not believe most pastors talk about this. When pastors get together, the talk surrounds theology, preaching, troubles or success with council. I do believe that most pastors understand "emotional affair". The pastors I know are men and women of good character. I personally do not know, the 1 in 50 pastors that are serious abusers. I did know one, but thankfully, deposed.
I remember studying in my pastoral theology class that women sometimes will set a "trap" for a pastor and ensnare him. We were taught to be wary of this type of woman as she could "ruin your ministry." (We now understand that the pastor ruined his ministry, not the woman). We were taught to report such a person immediately to wife and council. In other words, keep your professional boundaries.
A pastor whose marriage is not functioning well may be vulnerable to transference and thus the temptation to overlook proper boundaries, This continues to be known by some as "incitement" and thus victim blame and shame are the result, the sacrificial lamb to save the more "Important" ah-hem... "shepherd".
For those interested, here is the link to some of the research papers produced by Baylor.
The document by Dr. Garland, "Wolves in Shepherd's Clothing" (see the link for bibliography) is of particular interest and outlines the progression of the "Grooming Process" of victims used by predatory clergy. This paper among the other academic papers listed was referenced extensively during the article 83 process of revision for Synod 2016. I'm sure you will find it "eye-opening". It is a great educational tool for safe church and was used in our presentations to Classis.
This public forum is important. The hearing of stories helps to bring to light to abuses of power in our midst. Thank-you to "The Network", for publishing sensitive personal histories of people who have the courage to go public.
I myself was the recipient of two incidents of abuse as a young man. I was groped in the genital area twice by perpetrators. I barely escaped one incident in our school washroom by screaming as loud as I could. The perpetrator let go and fled, thankfully. Throughout the remainder of my time at this school, I was terrified of retribution and did not dare tell anyone out of fear and shame. This incident remains in my psyche. God has been gracious in allowing me through grace to bear it.
Of course there are differing interpretations of incidents involving harassment and abuse. From a judiciary view, opinions don't count, only facts count. If the event brought forth by the courageous story teller is true, there is only one interpretation, " guilty of sexual abuse and harassment" based on the incident. The perpetrator has no right to offer an explanation of "I did it in fun" and my intent was misinterpreted. The facts are as follows:
1) A person of unequal (greater) power, granted through ordination, ignored their fiduciary responsibility to respect the sexual safety of someone with lesser power (the retreat participant) contravened this person's right (through church order) to sexual safety.
Roger, or others who may not understand the fiduciary responsibility of a pastor please take the time to research it. A short definition from Webster's dictionary is as follows:
Definition of fiduciary
of, relating to, or involving a confidence or trust: such as
a : held or founded in trust or confidence a fiduciary relationship. All pastors and office bearers through ordination vows have a fiduciary responsibility to honor and respect and never contravene the right to sexual safety, a person under their pastoral power and authority. Period. This includes any incidents of sexual innuendo or any form of touch not in keeping with that responsibility. Sadly, in the nineties and even today, the 2%, give or take of office bearers within the CRC who abuse their relationships of trust are often defended as "wandering for a time".
2) Professional associations including the Canadian Medical Association, Governments, Police Associations, the military, National Counseling Associations and other bodies that employ professionals have strict codes of codes of practice outlining the grounds for sexual harassment and assault. Research shows that professional associations all experience the same rates of abuse, i.e., approximately 2% of the professionals in their ranks abuse their power.
The penalties within these associations vary, however within medical associations, any contravention involving sexual harassment or abuse against patients requires relinquishing of professional credentials. The same is true for Psychiatric and Counseling Associations of professionals. Interestingly, the same holds true for our denomination through the institutional and constitutional framework of church article 83 (revised 2016, Acts of Synod). For anyone reading this blog who believes their opposing opinions matter regarding contraventions of church order article 83 would do well to inform themselves of the dangers in 2018 of abuse of power. This is not 1993. A lot has changed since our courageous story teller was harassed by this pastor. Unfortunately, the ecclesiastical power structures still in place may lead to the protection of those in power and the silencing of victims and survivors due to the very nature of how power is exercised. For every victim that tells their story, there are 10 victims who remain in silence out of fear of the power that dominates them.
There is still much work to do to make our churches safe. Proceeding with initiatives including Classical Safe Church Coordinators for every Classis with ongoing education of congregations and pastoral education courses at seminary outlining the nature of abuse and its consequences are a step forward. A reminder to those who believe their is room for interpretation or opinion regarding incidents of harassment that are in fact true, take heed.
As in a court of law, when there is proof beyond reasonable doubt of a break in the relationship of trust, through boundary crossing, the accused is guilty and should bear the necessary consequences of their actions, including relinquishment of professional credentials.
With due respect to your office Roger, please take the time to do your own investigation into this issue. There have been a variety of current resources cited here to read. It will be much more helpful to you if you read all the information cited in this blog in a process of discovery, rather than asking me questions. Clearly, you do not believe the information I provided.
The research and information you discover will enlighten you surrounding changes that have taken place since 1995. The changes to attitudes in society and the practical re-engineering of church order to reflect those changes would not have resulted in the exoneration of the accused pastor nor would have judged the judgment of the elders in question as correct or disciplinary.
Thanks for attempting to answer the "power differential" question.
Power is more than having people voted into positions of authority and knowing their titles and roles. Inherent in the position of power are psychological, moral and spiritual advantages (power) that come with the office. Because of the power differential in the relation between pastor and parishioner, any sexual innuendo or act in that relationship is never consensual and therefore an abuse of power. The pastor or office bearer, through their fiduciary responsibility to protect the relationship charged to them is responsible for placing proper boundaries to protect the relationship from harm, so "incitement" from a parishioner may never be used as a defense by the bearer of power. Any breach of safe boundaries is never consensual. There is no such thing as "incitement", because of the imbalance in power in the relationship.
Please read the following for a full explanation of this, then respond. Others please respond too :)
Frank, you just made a correct observation. The penalty was staid, likely, and of course I admit conjecture, yet I do know that dismissal or cover-up has been common practice, to protect the reputation and career of a man with power and influence. About 75% of the time according to national statistics, charges of adult clergy abuse against the accused are dismissed in deference to "sacrifice" and minimize a less powerful congregant, usually a woman to protect against the much greater loss of a man's career, job or reputation. Bev, in her recent post outlined that the numbers of cases she's aware of ending in dismissal are probably greater than the national average.
Regarding, "I’m wondering (you don’t have to answer) if a woman pastor takes advantage of a male member of the church, even should she have been provoked by him, is she the one who is at fault for sexual misconduct and not him? It seems that, according to your understanding, he bears no responsibility for any misconduct. As a pastor, it is solely her responsibility and any fault is on her shoulders as the one with pastoral power. This could sound like a double standard."
This is a great question and thanks for asking. Yes, it is her sole responsibility to protect the pastoral relationship by maintaining emotional, spiritual and sexual boundaries and be able to perceive inappropriate behaviors in parishioners, i.e., "incitement". She is responsible in her calling and profession to know, understand and respond with pastoral care to inappropriate behaviors. When she does just that, the male parishioner who is in error, will receive the spiritual care he needs to move forward in Christ.
Thank-you Roger for confirming the fact that there is an element of "circling the wagons" in times of crisis including times of accusation of sexual abuse against an office bearer. Circle, protect, hope for the best when he's let go, minimize and ostracize the accuser as being a temptress or the one who incited an incident.
You ask in which circles I run, inferring that the Christian communities, the churches and campus ministry I've served over the years, do not carry levels of integrity commensurate with the standards of progressive sanctification that you claim differentiates our contexts? Roger, I work in the same circles. I'm a commissioned CRC pastor at present serving in Campus Ministry. I run in the same circles...Thanks for asking. One of my goals in ministry is to fight for justice for victims and survivors of sexual abuse by office bearers. You have expressed the you do not like what I do and that's your prerogative. I ask you to adopt a more curious and realistic approach to understanding the intricacies of victimization, its consequences and the terrible damage wrought on those we swear to protect from harm as ministers of the Gospel. I understand why you want to deny the facts, we do not want to believe there is this type of evil among us. "Not in My Church", is the common refrain of those who do not want to believe the reality of clergy sexual abuse. I do not hate the abusers, they need pastoral care that allows them to grow in Christ and away from this sin against the innocent. This type of pastoral care is best exemplified in David's story of his betrayal with Bathsheba. When confronted by the prophet Nathan with the truth of sexual abuse and murder, David's heart broke, he repented and wrote Psalm 51. The goal in safe church is not to hang out to dry the guilty, its to restore them to a place of shalom within the body of Christ through proper pastoral care. The focus however must be on the victim, their right to be heard, understood, providing hope for the possibility of justice or opportunities for restorative justice with the restoration in so far as possible, God helping them, Christian human dignity.
Posted in: Power: How Will We Use It?
Thanks for raising awareness and a better understanding of power and its use, abuse.
I would like to add to your resource list Andy Crouch's wonderful work on power,
"Playing God-Redeeming the Gift of Power". If you want to know more, search Good Reads or Patheos for reviews of this excellent work.
Posted in: Partnership View of Power
Excellent article!
The concept of equal partnership as a part of an egalitarian world-view challenges both genders to modify long held patriarchal power structures within our ecclesiastical fold. Male offices bearers under this view are required to "pull-back" or limit their grip on traditional male-held hierarchies within church polity structures. Women also have a role in seeking office and stating their case for egalitarian practices to take root within congregations. Both genders are required to be supportive of the other as they both seek God's will in serving through holding office-bearing roles up to and including Minister of Word and Sacrament.
As the husband of an ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament with 15 years experience in this role, it has been my delight to support and uphold the office my wife maintains as a lead pastor in a CRC congregation. My wife is an effective pastor as evidenced by all who have benefited from her leadership and preaching. God is honored and his people grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord as we all seek to minimize the prejudicial assumptions limiting the effectives of those who happen to be born to minorities or subject to ecclesiastically inspired gender prejudice.
-Kelly Sibthorpe
Posted in: Partnership View of Power
Doug,
Yes, you are semantically correct. Thank-you for bringing clarity. Authority to exercise power of course is granted by the people as we have just witnessed yesterday in the mid-terms. Correct, patriarchal authority structures is more proper, the point being, through empirical observation is that most church denominational structures are patriarchal as are the majority of business and institutional structures. Thankfully, women are gaining ground.
The key, in this church structure authority discussion is, who are the qualified givers and receivers of authority? Who are the stake-holders responsible to delegate or appoint authority? Does this authority to grant power reside equally with both genders? Traditionally, authority to grant power has been the domain of males. More recently, females have been "allowed" to hold church offices. In other words, there is wrestling going on. Who allows who to do what? Is this authority to exercise power based on gender, race, socioeconomic standing? Naturally we are to look to the scriptures for guidance and not tradition to put into place proper authority structures.
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Roger,
The + or - 3% is the statistical variation of 100 individuals in a sample.
I am a man Roger and my wife is my pastor at Good News CRC in London Ontario. She has been ordained as a Minister of Word and Sacrament for 11 years. Please look at the avatar on my post. That's me with the beard, my daughter and grand-daughter.
And again, church article 83 disqualifies your "opinion". Please take the time to read it. Synod has ruled against your opinion on this matter.
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Bev,
Thank-you for the link to the "Pyramid of Abuse". It is a fine summary of organizational systems theory, surrounding the foundations of abuse of power in its forms. Church systems have similar organizational structures, varying of course by denomination and therefore open to the development of abusive practices. I'm sorry you have to know many of the stories. Its hard to ingest and remain unchanged. I do not believe most pastors talk about this. When pastors get together, the talk surrounds theology, preaching, troubles or success with council. I do believe that most pastors understand "emotional affair". The pastors I know are men and women of good character. I personally do not know, the 1 in 50 pastors that are serious abusers. I did know one, but thankfully, deposed.
I remember studying in my pastoral theology class that women sometimes will set a "trap" for a pastor and ensnare him. We were taught to be wary of this type of woman as she could "ruin your ministry." (We now understand that the pastor ruined his ministry, not the woman). We were taught to report such a person immediately to wife and council. In other words, keep your professional boundaries.
A pastor whose marriage is not functioning well may be vulnerable to transference and thus the temptation to overlook proper boundaries, This continues to be known by some as "incitement" and thus victim blame and shame are the result, the sacrificial lamb to save the more "Important" ah-hem... "shepherd".
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
For those interested, here is the link to some of the research papers produced by Baylor.
The document by Dr. Garland, "Wolves in Shepherd's Clothing" (see the link for bibliography) is of particular interest and outlines the progression of the "Grooming Process" of victims used by predatory clergy. This paper among the other academic papers listed was referenced extensively during the article 83 process of revision for Synod 2016. I'm sure you will find it "eye-opening". It is a great educational tool for safe church and was used in our presentations to Classis.
https://www.baylor.edu/clergysexualmisconduct/index.php?id=68148
peace,
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Hi All,
This public forum is important. The hearing of stories helps to bring to light to abuses of power in our midst. Thank-you to "The Network", for publishing sensitive personal histories of people who have the courage to go public.
I myself was the recipient of two incidents of abuse as a young man. I was groped in the genital area twice by perpetrators. I barely escaped one incident in our school washroom by screaming as loud as I could. The perpetrator let go and fled, thankfully. Throughout the remainder of my time at this school, I was terrified of retribution and did not dare tell anyone out of fear and shame. This incident remains in my psyche. God has been gracious in allowing me through grace to bear it.
Of course there are differing interpretations of incidents involving harassment and abuse. From a judiciary view, opinions don't count, only facts count. If the event brought forth by the courageous story teller is true, there is only one interpretation, " guilty of sexual abuse and harassment" based on the incident. The perpetrator has no right to offer an explanation of "I did it in fun" and my intent was misinterpreted. The facts are as follows:
1) A person of unequal (greater) power, granted through ordination, ignored their fiduciary responsibility to respect the sexual safety of someone with lesser power (the retreat participant) contravened this person's right (through church order) to sexual safety.
Roger, or others who may not understand the fiduciary responsibility of a pastor please take the time to research it. A short definition from Webster's dictionary is as follows:
Definition of fiduciary
of, relating to, or involving a confidence or trust: such as
a : held or founded in trust or confidence a fiduciary relationship. All pastors and office bearers through ordination vows have a fiduciary responsibility to honor and respect and never contravene the right to sexual safety, a person under their pastoral power and authority. Period. This includes any incidents of sexual innuendo or any form of touch not in keeping with that responsibility. Sadly, in the nineties and even today, the 2%, give or take of office bearers within the CRC who abuse their relationships of trust are often defended as "wandering for a time".
2) Professional associations including the Canadian Medical Association, Governments, Police Associations, the military, National Counseling Associations and other bodies that employ professionals have strict codes of codes of practice outlining the grounds for sexual harassment and assault. Research shows that professional associations all experience the same rates of abuse, i.e., approximately 2% of the professionals in their ranks abuse their power.
The penalties within these associations vary, however within medical associations, any contravention involving sexual harassment or abuse against patients requires relinquishing of professional credentials. The same is true for Psychiatric and Counseling Associations of professionals. Interestingly, the same holds true for our denomination through the institutional and constitutional framework of church article 83 (revised 2016, Acts of Synod). For anyone reading this blog who believes their opposing opinions matter regarding contraventions of church order article 83 would do well to inform themselves of the dangers in 2018 of abuse of power. This is not 1993. A lot has changed since our courageous story teller was harassed by this pastor. Unfortunately, the ecclesiastical power structures still in place may lead to the protection of those in power and the silencing of victims and survivors due to the very nature of how power is exercised. For every victim that tells their story, there are 10 victims who remain in silence out of fear of the power that dominates them.
There is still much work to do to make our churches safe. Proceeding with initiatives including Classical Safe Church Coordinators for every Classis with ongoing education of congregations and pastoral education courses at seminary outlining the nature of abuse and its consequences are a step forward. A reminder to those who believe their is room for interpretation or opinion regarding incidents of harassment that are in fact true, take heed.
As in a court of law, when there is proof beyond reasonable doubt of a break in the relationship of trust, through boundary crossing, the accused is guilty and should bear the necessary consequences of their actions, including relinquishment of professional credentials.
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Hello Roger and all,
With due respect to your office Roger, please take the time to do your own investigation into this issue. There have been a variety of current resources cited here to read. It will be much more helpful to you if you read all the information cited in this blog in a process of discovery, rather than asking me questions. Clearly, you do not believe the information I provided.
The research and information you discover will enlighten you surrounding changes that have taken place since 1995. The changes to attitudes in society and the practical re-engineering of church order to reflect those changes would not have resulted in the exoneration of the accused pastor nor would have judged the judgment of the elders in question as correct or disciplinary.
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Hi Roger and all.
Thanks for attempting to answer the "power differential" question.
Power is more than having people voted into positions of authority and knowing their titles and roles. Inherent in the position of power are psychological, moral and spiritual advantages (power) that come with the office. Because of the power differential in the relation between pastor and parishioner, any sexual innuendo or act in that relationship is never consensual and therefore an abuse of power. The pastor or office bearer, through their fiduciary responsibility to protect the relationship charged to them is responsible for placing proper boundaries to protect the relationship from harm, so "incitement" from a parishioner may never be used as a defense by the bearer of power. Any breach of safe boundaries is never consensual. There is no such thing as "incitement", because of the imbalance in power in the relationship.
Please read the following for a full explanation of this, then respond. Others please respond too :)
https://futuristguymedia.wordpress.com/clergy-sexual-misconduct-fiduciary-duty/
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Hi Roger and All,
Frank, you just made a correct observation. The penalty was staid, likely, and of course I admit conjecture, yet I do know that dismissal or cover-up has been common practice, to protect the reputation and career of a man with power and influence. About 75% of the time according to national statistics, charges of adult clergy abuse against the accused are dismissed in deference to "sacrifice" and minimize a less powerful congregant, usually a woman to protect against the much greater loss of a man's career, job or reputation. Bev, in her recent post outlined that the numbers of cases she's aware of ending in dismissal are probably greater than the national average.
Regarding, "I’m wondering (you don’t have to answer) if a woman pastor takes advantage of a male member of the church, even should she have been provoked by him, is she the one who is at fault for sexual misconduct and not him? It seems that, according to your understanding, he bears no responsibility for any misconduct. As a pastor, it is solely her responsibility and any fault is on her shoulders as the one with pastoral power. This could sound like a double standard."
This is a great question and thanks for asking. Yes, it is her sole responsibility to protect the pastoral relationship by maintaining emotional, spiritual and sexual boundaries and be able to perceive inappropriate behaviors in parishioners, i.e., "incitement". She is responsible in her calling and profession to know, understand and respond with pastoral care to inappropriate behaviors. When she does just that, the male parishioner who is in error, will receive the spiritual care he needs to move forward in Christ.
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Roger,
keep going. What is my position on this entire topic?
Kelly
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Hi All,
Thank-you Roger for confirming the fact that there is an element of "circling the wagons" in times of crisis including times of accusation of sexual abuse against an office bearer. Circle, protect, hope for the best when he's let go, minimize and ostracize the accuser as being a temptress or the one who incited an incident.
You ask in which circles I run, inferring that the Christian communities, the churches and campus ministry I've served over the years, do not carry levels of integrity commensurate with the standards of progressive sanctification that you claim differentiates our contexts? Roger, I work in the same circles. I'm a commissioned CRC pastor at present serving in Campus Ministry. I run in the same circles...Thanks for asking. One of my goals in ministry is to fight for justice for victims and survivors of sexual abuse by office bearers. You have expressed the you do not like what I do and that's your prerogative. I ask you to adopt a more curious and realistic approach to understanding the intricacies of victimization, its consequences and the terrible damage wrought on those we swear to protect from harm as ministers of the Gospel. I understand why you want to deny the facts, we do not want to believe there is this type of evil among us. "Not in My Church", is the common refrain of those who do not want to believe the reality of clergy sexual abuse. I do not hate the abusers, they need pastoral care that allows them to grow in Christ and away from this sin against the innocent. This type of pastoral care is best exemplified in David's story of his betrayal with Bathsheba. When confronted by the prophet Nathan with the truth of sexual abuse and murder, David's heart broke, he repented and wrote Psalm 51. The goal in safe church is not to hang out to dry the guilty, its to restore them to a place of shalom within the body of Christ through proper pastoral care. The focus however must be on the victim, their right to be heard, understood, providing hope for the possibility of justice or opportunities for restorative justice with the restoration in so far as possible, God helping them, Christian human dignity.