Hi Michael, I just added a few specific examples of sermons. One is a fantastic one by Rev. Colin Vander Ploeg, and the other is one I preached in 2019. We would love to see more sermons preaching against abuse, highlighting God's grace and renewal - particularly ones that are trauma informed and give voice to the experience survivors face. Feel free to contribute to this, if you feel led. We would love to have more churches participate in "Abuse Awareness Sunday" on the fourth Sunday in September, it also doesn't have to take place on that Sunday, but is at least an opportunity, more info can be found on Abuse Awareness Sunday at our page: crcna.org/safechurch/abuse-awareness.
Also, if you have a request regarding key changes to a Safe Church Network article, it may be helpful to send me an email before a public comment, just a suggestion, take it for what it is. Regarding why SoJo - I can schedule a conversation with you if you'd like to talk about underlying philosophies of a variety of organizations/ pros/cons/etc. In short though, it was neat to see an organization ask pastors from any church to be in solidarity with those who have been victimized by DV, I haven't heard of another org that quickly received so many sermons on the topic. Back to the hope though, I'm optimistic that more churches who confess the Apostles Creed may be able to give voice to the unique challenges that survivors of DV face (and hopefully more of those of us who confess to the Three Forms of Unity as well).
Thanks Bonnie! My wife works as a physical therapist and in the physical therapy field they may find some patients that never had a severe traumatic event to a muscle or ligiment - however, many small traumatic impacts over and over may cause some of the same severe injuries if they go unadressed. While people can be resilient, we have to continue to find ways to rehab our mental health as well. Thankful for the resources you mention and the many others in our churches - both our local congregations and the church we find in all places and all times - may the spirit continue to renew us all during these times.
Hi Linda, Thanks for your question! In my opinion, I think it is more geared towards how leaders who have narcissistic tendencies affect those within the system. However, I also think its an invitation for all of us to understand our role within our narcissistic society, and can be a very helpful roadmap towards health and healing. Especially as Chuck refers to the Enneagram and invites the reader towards understanding their role within their family of origin. Here are a few quotes from the book that may give a bit more clarity:
"My hope is that this book will invite each of us to ask how we participate in narcissistic systems while providing clear resources for those traumatized by narcissistic relationships, particularly in the church" (Page 4).
"The majority see narcissism as a problem 'out there' to be solved by clinicians and technicians of the soul. As I conclude my writing I wonder whether this book will be of any help, particularly if the reader remains unwilling to explore his or her own narcissism. How can we address the wounds in others if we are unwilling to address our own?" (page 169)
Hi James, I believe it will fill up as people login, so there is no need to "register" ahead of time. As mentioned in the post though, we will be live-streaming on our Facebook page: Facebook.com/SafeChurchMinistry - and if you'd like to ask a question through the facebook stream, just comment on it and it will go into the pool of questions being asked by participants in the Zoom Webinar.
Thanks Bev, for pointing these out! Diane Langberg's Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauama Destroys and Christ Restores is terrific. She has a few chapters that are particularly helpful on the topic of abuse of power. Chapter 12 is called: Leadership, Power, and Deception in the Church and the Home; and chapter 13 is called: Sexual Abuse in Christian Organizations. Chapter 12 deals with individual ways leaders are deceived as Diane processes through a variety of types of power; and chapter 13 does a really good job at processing how institutions often respond so poorly to situations of abuse.
Thanks Jane, and everyone, for the conversation. Would still love to see more resources shared by those who commented. If you can find Christians who have thoughtfully created resources regarding teen dating violence, with nuanced use of our scriptures, that would be terrific! Would love to see Christians participating in the public sphere on this topic, and preferably would like to see ways it could both be used by Christians, and non-Christians. Perhaps such an article or resource could be titled, "Dating as a Teenager, Finding Love and Respect, hint - it will never Hurt (and its ok not to rush it)".
Of course, our sexual ethic following after Jesus is (vastly) different, but as Jane said, our teenagers need to process through the secular, and in my opinion, its best that the Christian guides are real people helping them along sort out this world that is full of traps.
Again, would like to see some resources based from scripture, or better, a reformed perspective on dating violence. Feel free to share, if you found some.
Hi Linda, thanks for this comment. We definitely discussed this, and we agree that "man" is often specific to the male gender - and may seem exclusive to women. However, after seeing the film, reading Jay's book and walking through parts the online course, I can assure you it is inclusive to both genders who are struggling with unwanted sexual brokenness.
Also, the online course with Jay Stringer integrates themes from the film: The Heart of Man, which is why it is called "Journey into the Heart of Man." The film itself weaves a very well done fictional story about a Father's pursuit of his son (similar to the parable of the prodigal son) together with interviews of both men and women who share their professional thoughts and/or personal testimonies on sexual brokenness, identity, and shame. So, while the main characters of the narrative are male, it features many women telling their testimonies as well.
Thanks for the article Lloyd! So thankful for all the voices that are continuing to give more perspective on these issues. While the article doesn't mention "abuse" specifically it does go to lengths about naming why and how some churches end up covering for their leaders when there is misconduct, I think we could probably assume misconduct/abuse is within the broader term of sin.
I especially like how the Prof. Murray gives perspective of the victim in these situations. Often victims are left uncared for, unbelieved and as a result isolated... even if there is no specific "cover up" it may feel like it to them...
Rachel Denhollander has been really helpful to so many churches on this issue (and she'll be sharing at January Series on the 22nd - info on that at this link here)
As she said after giving her victim impact statement (link to article):
"My advocacy for sexual assault victims, something I cherished, cost me my church and our closest friends three weeks before I filed my police report. I was left alone and isolated. And far worse, it was impacted because when I came out, my sexual assault was wielded like a weapon against me.... Often by those who should have been the first to support and help, and I couldn't even do what I loved best, which was to reach out to others."
Thanks for sharing, Al! It was great to meet you at the Safe Church Conference last month. So grateful for your ongoing work (and your core team's work!) there in Hamilton, Ontario. :)
Roger, It is very evident from your comment that you have disregarded the lived reality of so many women - you have also made many assumptions of women that I strongly believe are wrong. I'm not willing to comment on all the ways I disagree with you.
So many times comments like yours have silenced women - accusing them of things like gossip and have further enabled a culture of harassment and gender discrimination. Finally our society underwent the #metoo movement in which millions of women and men have finally said, enough is enough, this must stop and had enough courage to finally share their story. Yet, there is this comment from you that minimizes it as just humor...
I pray that men will finally stand up and say, this will not happen anymore and real change will finally come - not to mention this misconduct was from an ordained pastor? When will it end?
Check out this article written by a pro basketball player Steph Curry, he is one of my favorite athletes:
I’m with him, when he is talking about raising his son, “I think you teach him to always stay listening to women, to always stay believing in women, and — when it comes to anyone’s expectations for women — to always stay challenging the idea of what’s right.”
Posted in: Sermon Resources: Preaching on the Topic of Domestic Violence
Hi Michael, I just added a few specific examples of sermons. One is a fantastic one by Rev. Colin Vander Ploeg, and the other is one I preached in 2019. We would love to see more sermons preaching against abuse, highlighting God's grace and renewal - particularly ones that are trauma informed and give voice to the experience survivors face. Feel free to contribute to this, if you feel led. We would love to have more churches participate in "Abuse Awareness Sunday" on the fourth Sunday in September, it also doesn't have to take place on that Sunday, but is at least an opportunity, more info can be found on Abuse Awareness Sunday at our page: crcna.org/safechurch/abuse-awareness.
Also, if you have a request regarding key changes to a Safe Church Network article, it may be helpful to send me an email before a public comment, just a suggestion, take it for what it is. Regarding why SoJo - I can schedule a conversation with you if you'd like to talk about underlying philosophies of a variety of organizations/ pros/cons/etc. In short though, it was neat to see an organization ask pastors from any church to be in solidarity with those who have been victimized by DV, I haven't heard of another org that quickly received so many sermons on the topic. Back to the hope though, I'm optimistic that more churches who confess the Apostles Creed may be able to give voice to the unique challenges that survivors of DV face (and hopefully more of those of us who confess to the Three Forms of Unity as well).
Posted in: Help in the Midst of Trauma
Thanks Bonnie! My wife works as a physical therapist and in the physical therapy field they may find some patients that never had a severe traumatic event to a muscle or ligiment - however, many small traumatic impacts over and over may cause some of the same severe injuries if they go unadressed. While people can be resilient, we have to continue to find ways to rehab our mental health as well. Thankful for the resources you mention and the many others in our churches - both our local congregations and the church we find in all places and all times - may the spirit continue to renew us all during these times.
Posted in: May 2020 Safe Church Webinar With Chuck DeGroat, Author of When Narcissism Comes to Church
Hi Linda, Thanks for your question! In my opinion, I think it is more geared towards how leaders who have narcissistic tendencies affect those within the system. However, I also think its an invitation for all of us to understand our role within our narcissistic society, and can be a very helpful roadmap towards health and healing. Especially as Chuck refers to the Enneagram and invites the reader towards understanding their role within their family of origin. Here are a few quotes from the book that may give a bit more clarity:
"My hope is that this book will invite each of us to ask how we participate in narcissistic systems while providing clear resources for those traumatized by narcissistic relationships, particularly in the church" (Page 4).
"The majority see narcissism as a problem 'out there' to be solved by clinicians and technicians of the soul. As I conclude my writing I wonder whether this book will be of any help, particularly if the reader remains unwilling to explore his or her own narcissism. How can we address the wounds in others if we are unwilling to address our own?" (page 169)
Posted in: May 2020 Safe Church Webinar With Chuck DeGroat, Author of When Narcissism Comes to Church
Hi James, I believe it will fill up as people login, so there is no need to "register" ahead of time. As mentioned in the post though, we will be live-streaming on our Facebook page: Facebook.com/SafeChurchMinistry - and if you'd like to ask a question through the facebook stream, just comment on it and it will go into the pool of questions being asked by participants in the Zoom Webinar.
Posted in: Power: How Will We Use It?
Thanks Bev, for pointing these out! Diane Langberg's Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauama Destroys and Christ Restores is terrific. She has a few chapters that are particularly helpful on the topic of abuse of power. Chapter 12 is called: Leadership, Power, and Deception in the Church and the Home; and chapter 13 is called: Sexual Abuse in Christian Organizations. Chapter 12 deals with individual ways leaders are deceived as Diane processes through a variety of types of power; and chapter 13 does a really good job at processing how institutions often respond so poorly to situations of abuse.
Posted in: Power: How Will We Use It?
And, I just saw she has a new book coming out called: Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church, you can pre-order it now, but it is not being released until October, 2020.
Posted in: February Is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month (TDVAM)
Thanks Jane, and everyone, for the conversation. Would still love to see more resources shared by those who commented. If you can find Christians who have thoughtfully created resources regarding teen dating violence, with nuanced use of our scriptures, that would be terrific! Would love to see Christians participating in the public sphere on this topic, and preferably would like to see ways it could both be used by Christians, and non-Christians. Perhaps such an article or resource could be titled, "Dating as a Teenager, Finding Love and Respect, hint - it will never Hurt (and its ok not to rush it)".
Of course, our sexual ethic following after Jesus is (vastly) different, but as Jane said, our teenagers need to process through the secular, and in my opinion, its best that the Christian guides are real people helping them along sort out this world that is full of traps.
Again, would like to see some resources based from scripture, or better, a reformed perspective on dating violence. Feel free to share, if you found some.
Posted in: New - Online Interactive Course for Sexual Brokenness
Hi Linda, thanks for this comment. We definitely discussed this, and we agree that "man" is often specific to the male gender - and may seem exclusive to women. However, after seeing the film, reading Jay's book and walking through parts the online course, I can assure you it is inclusive to both genders who are struggling with unwanted sexual brokenness.
Also, the online course with Jay Stringer integrates themes from the film: The Heart of Man, which is why it is called "Journey into the Heart of Man." The film itself weaves a very well done fictional story about a Father's pursuit of his son (similar to the parable of the prodigal son) together with interviews of both men and women who share their professional thoughts and/or personal testimonies on sexual brokenness, identity, and shame. So, while the main characters of the narrative are male, it features many women telling their testimonies as well.
Thanks for checking out this great resource!
Posted in: Why Do Churches Cover Up Sin?
Thanks for the article Lloyd! So thankful for all the voices that are continuing to give more perspective on these issues. While the article doesn't mention "abuse" specifically it does go to lengths about naming why and how some churches end up covering for their leaders when there is misconduct, I think we could probably assume misconduct/abuse is within the broader term of sin.
I especially like how the Prof. Murray gives perspective of the victim in these situations. Often victims are left uncared for, unbelieved and as a result isolated... even if there is no specific "cover up" it may feel like it to them...
Rachel Denhollander has been really helpful to so many churches on this issue (and she'll be sharing at January Series on the 22nd - info on that at this link here)
As she said after giving her victim impact statement (link to article):
"My advocacy for sexual assault victims, something I cherished, cost me my church and our closest friends three weeks before I filed my police report. I was left alone and isolated. And far worse, it was impacted because when I came out, my sexual assault was wielded like a weapon against me.... Often by those who should have been the first to support and help, and I couldn't even do what I loved best, which was to reach out to others."
Posted in: Updates from Safe Church Coordinators: Hamilton, ON
Thanks for sharing, Al! It was great to meet you at the Safe Church Conference last month. So grateful for your ongoing work (and your core team's work!) there in Hamilton, Ontario. :)
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
Roger, It is very evident from your comment that you have disregarded the lived reality of so many women - you have also made many assumptions of women that I strongly believe are wrong. I'm not willing to comment on all the ways I disagree with you.
So many times comments like yours have silenced women - accusing them of things like gossip and have further enabled a culture of harassment and gender discrimination. Finally our society underwent the #metoo movement in which millions of women and men have finally said, enough is enough, this must stop and had enough courage to finally share their story. Yet, there is this comment from you that minimizes it as just humor...
I pray that men will finally stand up and say, this will not happen anymore and real change will finally come - not to mention this misconduct was from an ordained pastor? When will it end?
Check out this article written by a pro basketball player Steph Curry, he is one of my favorite athletes:
www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/stephen-curry-womens-equality
I’m with him, when he is talking about raising his son, “I think you teach him to always stay listening to women, to always stay believing in women, and — when it comes to anyone’s expectations for women — to always stay challenging the idea of what’s right.”
Posted in: Fighting the Darkness: The Sex Industry and the Church
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